How does a social BEing who loves to dance & party spend 10 years in seclusion? … I have decided to bare my Soul in this blog ~ Maybe someone can make something of the many wrong and some wonderful choices I made in my life… I figure I am at a time in my life where other people’s opinions don’t really matter to me… I lived my life attempting to please everyone else which put me in some pretty wild experiences… I wanted so desperately to fit in and I really never did feel that I did… My whole life I felt like I didn’t belong…
Okay, back to the 10 year time of attempting to make sense of my biggest (although it’s hard to tell sometimes if it was biggest) wrong choice… I was in a relationship with someone who was great fun and I loved a lot but I wasn’t my “best self” with him. The first opportunity I had to run. I took off and impulsively (you will find many of the stories I will tell ~ Impulsivity happened a lot for me). I went to live with someone else in a clothing optional resort in Florida. All very exciting . He was gone for weeks at a time driving an 18 wheeler. I was lucky enough to have nice neighbors… I had a hard time feeling like I belonged there as well and kept mostly to myself but did have a great time at a couple of the most awesome holiday parties ever… Otherwise my life was quite subdued.
I had spinal surgery in Florida. A couple of days after the surgery about 8 inches above my incision a hole opened on my back and an arch of liquid was being shed. I called the doctor on Friday afternoon and told him I had a fever and thought I had an infection… Friday afternoon ~ the doc says “You can’t have an infection…” I asked if he was willing to wait until after the weekend and take a chance that I did have an infection near my spine. Two hours later I was on the operating table again… this time to clear a MRSA infection from my back. There was a hole the size of a lemon in my back by the time they finished… I was attached to a machine that suctioned out poison and went home with a port and 24/7 antibiotics.
A nurse came every other day to clean and measure the wound and tape the machine back on… Very nice woman that I dreaded seeing every other day…Every time she ripped that tape off I wanted to scream. I carried that machine and my antibiotics around for 6 weeks. Neighbors brought some food and helped with Bruiser, my 8 pound best friend and love, but the rumor was they didn’t think I would make it. But, of course, I wouldn’t give up that easily.
During my treatment my “partner” came home to spend a few days. He went to the doctor (which probably was the first time he had ever gone). A tumor was wrapped around his spine that could paralyze him. They gave him huge amounts of steroids which caused him to have a psychotic break. He became verbally abusive and more and more deranged and wanted me to lie to his doctors I told him I would not lie. I was called in anyway. I didn’t lie and in that moment became the enemy. He made it clear he didn’t want me there and I spent a few days with an Angel named Pam. The next time I was home, he fell to the ground hitting his head. He had red stripes running up both arms.. I called an ambulance (another enemy kind of thing to do). He went to the hospital and I took some things he wanted thereto him. The nurses told me not to go in and that they thought I might be in danger. So did his doctor and the Hospice people…
While he was in the hospital, I told them he couldn’t come back to the condo and I neatly packed all of his things. While doing so I found two loaded guns in different rooms… I had a friend who had worked as a weapons specialist for the FBI and I asked him to unload the guns. His parents took his things after his father madly rummaged through everything in the house to see if I kept anything from him… I told them where the guns were packed . He was rude and nasty even without taking steroids.
I couldn’t wait to get back to California and for many reasons I don’t care if I ever enter the State of Florida again… (to be continued)
Oh, sidenote, the man I was living with is now in prison for what will be his remaining years… the charge was murder and the murder was heartless.
I will let you all know when Entry 2 comes along. I will try to do 2 a week…
Oh yeah, in order to format this thing . I worked for several hours and then retyped it....
Wishing you all Great LOVE ❤️🙏
Yeshe Ma 🪷
yeshema1@yeshesbaresoul.com
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